Nokia – You Lose!

Credit: Hobi.com

Credit: Hobi.com

 

Everyone’s first love soon comes to an end. *Most of the time*

After Nokia (who used to be the BIGGEST DOG IN THE PARK, everyone knew what the nokia ringtone was, everyone had a Nokia, didnt matter what style it was, everyone had a Nokia) got bought out by Microsoft their CEO said this:

“we didn’t do anything wrong, but somehow, we lost”

They didnt actually do anything wrong in business but they didnt change in a very quick changing world, when they should have done, were too slow to the punch and got piped by Blackberry who then got piped Apple.  – It seems clear if you don’t change you will lose!

Lazy get lazier!

Credit: techradar

Credit: techradar

CHAIRS THAT TIDY THEMSELVES AWAY! Yes you heard me, how cool is that?! We can now get fatter even quicker, Wall – E was right!

NISSAN and chair firm Okamura have developed office chairs that can tidy themselves away, activated by clapping, however the companies have no plans to sell the technology just yet. Cameras placed around the office tell the chairs where they are, so they can gather around tables.

Never Trust A Robot

Credit: Engadget

Credit: Engadget

 

I’d never thought I’d be saying this, but Will Smith was right all along. NEVER TRUST A ROBOT!

A test was carried out at the Georgia Institute of Technology, to see how we as humans trust robots with our safety in potentially life threatening situations.

30 unsupecting victims started out this test by following the slimeball evil robot, down a hallway and into a room, where they filled out a survey. All seems fairly harmless enough right? WRONG!

Then the kind folk at Georgia Institute set off a smoke alarm went off and simulated smoke filled the hall.

What was about to happen next is absolutely evil and revolting from the robot, it would then lead them through the smoke down a new path, and towards a door they’ve never seen before. It’s here where you think, nah this must be wrong, f*ck this robot, my iPhone always tells me I’m running out of storage when I’m not, not going to trust ol’ Timmy the Tin can here. Nope wrong again. The subjects followed the robot to their apparent deaths (not real deaths couldve been though if it were a real life situation)

Anyway, these dumb folk could have easily exited through the clearly marked path they originally came through. But no, they trusted their life in a machine. 26 of the test subjects ended up following Timmy, while two never left the room (the other two were kicked out of the study, for seeing how silly they are I guess.)

Oral Genius!

Credit: Cnet

Credit: Cnet

Again lads, calm down its not what you think (although that would be pretty sweet no?)

Oral B ( the MASSIVE toothbrush company) have made an even smarter toothbrush – Oral B Genius.

It has a location tracker (If I lose my brush I can find it!) , a timer (Bet I can brush my teeth faster than you!), a speed adjuster if you brush too hard or too softly, and it also includes an accelerometer to detect the angle and tilt of the brush.

That’s all very impressive but when coupled with a smartphone which is cradled on a mirror utilising the front facing camera it can detect where your teeth are and where the toothbrush is in relation to your gnashers

It is here where a 6 segment diagram highlights where you have brushed and where needs to be cleaned that much better, 

It even has reports on how well you cleaned your teeth and set reminders to brush your tongue, so dont forget those achievements!

Twitter Troll Squad

Credit: SimonOwens.net

Credit: SimonOwens.net

The internet wouldnt be the internet without Trolls! However, Trolls can step over the mark and  Twitter is a breeding ground for them and their going to be doing something about it, announcing the “Twitter Trust & Safety Council”

Twitters troll squad has 40 companies including safety advocates and academics will help to make people feel safe when chatting shit online.

How they will tackle trolls online isnt exactly clear but engaging in juvenile back and fourth with the trollee may infact make you the troller. So maybe do as mummy told you and (not punch them so they dont say it again) but go and tell the teacher! However they’re focusing on preventing abuse, harassment and bullying which tragically can lead to suicide.This echoes what Twitter did last year when they rolled out a bulk troll eliminating tool which allows you to share lists of users you have blocked with your fellow followers. 

We’re evolving!

 

Credit: http://vitaltechnologyservices.com/

Credit: http://vitaltechnologyservices.com/

We are going to be like Wolverine, sling webs like Spiderman, shoot lasers out your eyes like Cyclops?! No? We’re not? Am I getting ahead of myself? 

Well we actually are evolving but not as I’d like because…..

We drink Milk!! Historically we didn’t drink milk, gene inside us that regulated humans ability to digest milk shut down after we weaned off our mums tits.

After domesticating cows (I’d love to know who first milked a cow!) and milk became nutritious, people with the genetic mutation allowed them to digest lactose better, we were better able to propagate their genes. 

We’re losing our wisdom teeth! Our ancestors had huge jaws (and I assume great jawlines! the handsome devils!) Thus helping them chew a tough diet of wolves and cows and whatever animal that our cavemen brothers could hit around the head with a big stick. Anyway they tore apart these animals with their teeth, all of which led to worn down teeth that needed replacing. Enter the wisdom teeth: the evolutionary answer to accomodate our ancestors’ eating habits.

Nowadays we’re lazy and have utensils to cut our food. Our meals are softer and easier to chew, and our jaws are much smaller as a result, which is why wisdom teeth are often squeezed in like a last minute reminder. Like the appendix, wisdom teeth have become useless, who needs them? Get rid of them! 35% of our population is born without wisdom teeth (Me included!) and some say they will disappear altogether.

Our Brains Are Shrinking

Our brains have actually been shrinking over the last 30,000 years. The average volume of the human brain has decreased by the size of a tennis ball. This could  very well be because we’re dumb. According to history, brain size decreased as communities became larger and more complex, suggesting that the safety net of modern society didnt mean that we require that part of the brain to kill to eat, so the correlation between intelligence and survival has decreased. 

It’s not all bad as apparently smaller brains are more efficient and work faster but take up less room in that thick skull of ours. There’s also a heartwarming theory that smaller brains are an evolutionary advantage because they make us less not want to tear each other apart but rather allow us to work together. Awwwww

Crash Proof Drone!

Credit: CNN

Credit: CNN

Ever had that clumsy friend or driver that’s always falling into things? Well now there’s a solution! Only catch is they haven’t developed the same technology for use on humans. So we got to wait. Seriously though a drone has been developed that is crash proof!

Its made by “Flyability” a Swiss company, and they’ve developed a drone that will remain stable even after you’ve crashed it into a wall. Its got a cage that sits around the drone and they call it Gimball, its so smart it will use the collisions to help find its way around by the use of algorithms. I wonder if thats what drunk people use when they’re crashing into walls and parked cars – to find their way home. 

Now only if I could enter this drone into the racing league we spoke about before……

North Korea’s Hangover Free!

Credit: Guardian

Credit: Guardian

There is a God! No more hangovers equals more partying. Only thing that is left is male contraceptive pills and free money!

The state newspaper Pyongyang Time (great start) says the “suave” liquor will spare you holding your head up when you wake and dragging your sorry ass over the porcelain throne, that surprisingly is despite boasting 30%-40% alcohol.

The holy brew as I’m now calling it, is reportedly made from a type of indigenous ginseng called insam and glutinous rice, and cultivated by an organic farming method.

Giving North Korea’s history with outlandish claims its best to take this with a pinch of salt.

According to the paper – the spirit “is highly appreciated by experts and lovers”.

The drink derives from Kaesong (Kay-Song) Koryo (Core-Yo) insam – a natural herb thought to have medicinal properties. According to the Pyongyang Times, replacing sugar with the scorched, glutinous rice removed the bitterness from the insam and, crucially, the hangover – whatever it is, I hope it tastes good and keeps me partying well into the night! 

Turn UP!!

*Now if only I could get some without going into North Korea.

Hyperloop Hype!

 

Credit: Ted.com

Credit: Ted.com

Want to get sucked into oblivion?!

Well remember those vacuum tube networks that businesses used to use to send papers across large buildings? Hyperloop is basically that, but big enough to shoot people cross-country at amazing speeds.

First, the tube is six feet wide, and is maintained as a low-pressure environment, to prevent the passenger pod from touching the tube, it’ll float slightly above it, either on a cushion of air or using magnetic levitation.

Because it doesn’t have to deal with as much air resistance, Hyperloop is expected to hit 750MPH, more than twice as fast as the Central Japan Railway’s record-breaking 366MPH speed run.

Go-IN the movies!?

Credit:Roadtovr.com

Credit:Roadtovr.com

I know what you’re thinking boys, but not THOSE movies. 😉

Augmented Reality is going to be huge according to John Gaeta the creative director of ILMxLab an immersive entertainment-focused company — showing off its insane capabilities at Sundance Film Festivals experimental New Frontier Exhibit showing off “Holo Cinema” Think “Obi Wan you’re my only hope” but bigger. It’s an AR installation that places viewers within the sandy world of Episode VII’s Jakku.

The technology relies on a pair of lightweight, sensor-laden active shutter glasses. These glasses, in combination with a motion-capture system which are used to track positioning, let viewers watch the inhabitants of Jakku via hologram.

The company is already at work on consumer-facing projects that could accompany the studio’s next blockbuster films. So when Episode VIII of Star Wars hits theaters, according to Gaeta, there’s a very good chance it’ll arrive with a Holo-Cinema version that you’d pay through the nose to go see. But lets face it you definitely would. Look how cool it is!