Condom delivery service!

/in /by

Ever get into the heat of things and you reach over for a condom and you have none. Nada. Zilch. Well Durex were teasing Brits with a condom delivery service. Helping us Brits to get laid 24/7. Therefore means you won’t be having to need to head to the shop too.

Way back in 2013 Durex ran a marketing campaign called “SOS Condom” it showed a GPS locator app which located you and delivered you a rubber.

It showed a whole host of people. Such as police officers to pizza delivery guys (of course) rushing to help in your time of need.

It’s a real thing elsewhere!

It was a stunt but it may actually become a thing in China and parts of Latin America.  Lovers in Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, Peru and Mexico can get rubbers delivered in 3o minutes.

While in Shanghai, Alibaba, a HUGE retail company are delivering condoms between 10pm and 7am. Huffington Post are reporting that the peak ordering time is midnight and the average user is 40)

While there’s not even a whisper of it being launched here in the UK. Declining condom sales were cited as a motivator to bring it to our shores! Reckitt Benckiser, which owns Durex, said that increasing competition in Asia and Latin America. By local condom brands diminished their share of the market and caused the roll out of a delivery service.

It would most likely be a success if it were. Deliveroo, were on course to hit 6M UK customers at the end of last year. So maybe it would work? Would it be awkward though? Maybe they should make the box small enough to fit in the letterbox. No need to answer the door half naked or make awkward eye contact with the delivery driver. After all, they’ll most likely know what you’re about to do. Brings a whole new meaning to “Ding Dong”

While 30mins is a long wait for delivery, it may delay things and the moment may go. What if the delivery driver gets lost and needs to call you? What if they get stuck in traffic? Guess some planning will be needed to be done to get them delivered just in time. but if you’re doing all that, why not just prepare normally and get some rubbers just in case. Always have condoms on you people!

(Huffington Post)

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Self Lubricating Condom?!

/in /by

A Self Lubricating Condom. They’re a thing now. They’ve come a long way since using livestock intestines. Condoms can come ribbed for the lady in your life. They can even glow in the dark. Also, they can come with self-warming abilities. But now they can also self lubricate!

The Bill and Melinda Gate’s Foundation’s ran a competition to build a better condom. Well boy did they. A research team have created a condom which gets slippery when wet. A specially-designed layer of hydrophilic polymers coats the condom’s surface. Which when activated with moisture becomes slick. (How many of you cringed at the word ‘moist’ there?

Some condoms already have lubricant applied to it but it wears off during sex. This special condom never runs out! (Well it has a 1,000 thrust limit, while the study says typical intercourse is anywhere between 100-500 thrusts) Say that’s a thrust per second, that’s 16minutes plus of straight thrusting before the lubricant where’s off. Jeez! The researchers were awarded a cool $100,000 grant for their research.

The study, published in the Royal Society Open journal, outlines how they created this special rubber. It assessed “frictional performance” against a variety of different lubricated and non lubricared condoms. Using a machine not humans you dirty lot you!

Though they did use touch tests with human participants to determine how they perceived slipperiness. (You would think during sex, not just how slippery the rubber is)

73% of the 33 who participated, said they preferred the new condom design. They also said they’d be more likely to use a condom if it was inherently slippery. While those who never used condoms stated they’d consider using one if this special self lubricating condom existed.

(VICE)

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Weed + Church, getting high with God!

/in /by

In a strange turn of events, two altar boys from Spain have been arrested and detained for putting weed into a censer during mass. The censer is a device or tool that is similar to a incense burner)

The devil’s lettuce wasn’t noticeable at first and many of the church goers were unawares. However, after a few moments, the distinct weed aroma soon flooded the cathedral.

One churchgoer was quoted as saying ”

“It did not smell as always. It was a familiar smell, but I could not relate it to anything…but my son’s bedroom would sometimes smell like that.”

The two boys responsible were arrested after the service. However, they were freed without charge later on in the day.

Is this true or is it a hoax? While it sounds very plausible, it could also very easily be fake. We’ll let you Snopes it or go about your day believing it. We mean it is a pretty cool story to tell isn’t it?

(Mandatory)

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Boiling Steel – SCI FI VR Madness

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MicroWin Studio, the studio behind Guns ‘n’ Stories: Bulletproof VR, have announced an amazing Sci-Fi VR shooter. It’s called Boiling Steel and will come to Steam Early access on December 5th 2019.

Boiling Steel has been in development since early 2018. It’s made for gamers who love fast-paced action! Which is also wrapped in a complex story rich setting. It’s written by a member of the team behind the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series.

From what we can see this game has some beautiful graphics, smooth controls and a lot of action! Boiling Steel has an arsenal of upgradable construction tools too. Which provide a truly unique experience!

Boiling Steel: Plot

The story of Boiling Steel is set far in the future and centered around a colonized planet. This planet has been designed to be a bastion of scientific research and development. Furthermore it is free of bureaucratic, religious, and legal restrictions and the technology is very very advanced.

So, by utilizing the ability to transfer a human consciousness to a robotic shell (how cool does that sound!). Players are able to do hazardous work in mines and factories without the need to worry about danger. You are eager for the chance at a better life. Therefore you get really excited about working for the Engineering Corps.

However, radical fanatics with unknown motives launch a virus into the system. Messing things up real bad. Empty shells run rampant as they’re controlled by the virus. Murdering anyone they can find.

This leads players to a number of questions such as:

Who is behind the virus attack and why?
Why haven’t the military arrived to rescue the colonists?

You get inquizitive and it’s up to you, even with your construction equipment, to get to the bottom of the issue.

Included in Boiling Steel:

  • 9 tools, each with unique playstyle, upgrades, and handling
  • Experience upgrade system: The more you use a tool, the more powerful it becomes.
  • Furthermore, be rewarded for sticking with a favorite.
  • Non-story missions are randomly generated to make each playthrough exciting and unique.
  • Plus, more than 40 combat missions! Equaling over 10 hours of action-packed VR shooting goodness.
  • A variety of enemy shells with a multitude of armaments, configurations, and combat style.
  • Overcome planetary security systems! Such as automated turrets, minefields, energy barriers. Achieve even more with smarts, quick reflexes, and puzzle-solving ability.
  • Also, explore cloud-city complexes, frozen structures, sandy mining platforms, and more.

Purchase via Steam here!

Early Access Release Date: Dec 5th 2019

Price: $19.99

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Black Friday, a wonderful customer experience

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Us Brits are predicted to have spent a whopping £5.6Billion combined on Black Friday and Cyber Monday this year. With the average spend also predicted to be £251.20 each. Why the shift in behaviour? The digital era. Shoppers are now preferring speed and convenience rather than going into a brick and mortar store.

92% of those surveyed by PwC claim that they will have bought at least 1 item over the internet between Black Friday and Cyber Monday. This number includes 56% of all customers who intend to do all their shopping on the net!

Black Friday Human Interaction

Despite this HUGE increase in online shopping. The PwC survey discovered that 75% of consumers desire human interaction as part of the digital journey. Therefore more retailers are investing in assisted intelligence solutions.  Which therefore will create a seamless brand experience in order to compete in such a competitive online environment, this is according to Sameer Parvez, Head of Retail & Ecommerce at Teleperformance:

With sales predicted to be 800 per cent more than a regular Monday, it is imperative retailers have a digital customer experience in place that integrates chatbots with their existing customer interaction channels, alleviating pressure from customer service agents. The demand for chat services is significant, with over 50 per cent of consumers preferring this method of instant communication.

As more and more consumers go online, companies that adopt an omni-channel customer engagement strategy can retain an average 89% of their customers, deepening the relationship between the brand and the consumer.”

In order to stay relevant to consumers who now expect 24 hour communication, retailers must respond to this need and boost their digital online experience by considering a High-Tech, High-Touch approach. This gives shoppers the option to speak to a customer service advisor as well as round-the-clock online chat services.

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