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Condom delivery service!

Ever get into the heat of things and you reach over for a condom and you have none. Nada. Zilch. Well Durex were teasing Brits with a condom delivery service. Helping us Brits to get laid 24/7. Therefore means you won’t be having to need to head to the shop too.

Way back in 2013 Durex ran a marketing campaign called “SOS Condom” it showed a GPS locator app which located you and delivered you a rubber.

It showed a whole host of people. Such as police officers to pizza delivery guys (of course) rushing to help in your time of need.

It’s a real thing elsewhere!

It was a stunt but it may actually become a thing in China and parts of Latin America.  Lovers in Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, Peru and Mexico can get rubbers delivered in 3o minutes.

While in Shanghai, Alibaba, a HUGE retail company are delivering condoms between 10pm and 7am. Huffington Post are reporting that the peak ordering time is midnight and the average user is 40)

While there’s not even a whisper of it being launched here in the UK. Declining condom sales were cited as a motivator to bring it to our shores! Reckitt Benckiser, which owns Durex, said that increasing competition in Asia and Latin America. By local condom brands diminished their share of the market and caused the roll out of a delivery service.

It would most likely be a success if it were. Deliveroo, were on course to hit 6M UK customers at the end of last year. So maybe it would work? Would it be awkward though? Maybe they should make the box small enough to fit in the letterbox. No need to answer the door half naked or make awkward eye contact with the delivery driver. After all, they’ll most likely know what you’re about to do. Brings a whole new meaning to “Ding Dong”

While 30mins is a long wait for delivery, it may delay things and the moment may go. What if the delivery driver gets lost and needs to call you? What if they get stuck in traffic? Guess some planning will be needed to be done to get them delivered just in time. but if you’re doing all that, why not just prepare normally and get some rubbers just in case. Always have condoms on you people!

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Self Lubricating Condom?!

A Self Lubricating Condom. They’re a thing now. They’ve come a long way since using livestock intestines. Condoms can come ribbed for the lady in your life. They can even glow in the dark. Also, they can come with self-warming abilities. But now they can also self lubricate!

The Bill and Melinda Gate’s Foundation’s ran a competition to build a better condom. Well boy did they. A research team have created a condom which gets slippery when wet. A specially-designed layer of hydrophilic polymers coats the condom’s surface. Which when activated with moisture becomes slick. (How many of you cringed at the word ‘moist’ there?

Some condoms already have lubricant applied to it but it wears off during sex. This special condom never runs out! (Well it has a 1,000 thrust limit, while the study says typical intercourse is anywhere between 100-500 thrusts) Say that’s a thrust per second, that’s 16minutes plus of straight thrusting before the lubricant where’s off. Jeez! The researchers were awarded a cool $100,000 grant for their research.

The study, published in the Royal Society Open journal, outlines how they created this special rubber. It assessed “frictional performance” against a variety of different lubricated and non lubricared condoms. Using a machine not humans you dirty lot you!

Though they did use touch tests with human participants to determine how they perceived slipperiness. (You would think during sex, not just how slippery the rubber is)

73% of the 33 who participated, said they preferred the new condom design. They also said they’d be more likely to use a condom if it was inherently slippery. While those who never used condoms stated they’d consider using one if this special self lubricating condom existed.

(VICE)

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Episode 194 SMART CONDOM