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Table Manners – The Valentines Game
Table Manners is here to ruin your date! (In a good way)This new quirky game is described as a crazy physics based dating sim. Even the most simplest of tasks become very difficult and you end up causing such a mess! Though if your date is having fun, what's the problem eh?Curve Digital
Posted by How To Kill an Hour on Thursday, 13 February 2020
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and what better way to celebrate it than to play a Valentines Day game! (Maybe this one is just for all the singeltons out there) However, if you aren’t single this game is still LOADS of fun to play! Table Manners is here to ruin your date! (In a good way)
This new quirky game may look VR but it is NON VR based and is described as a crazy physics based dating sim. Table Manners is the game where you secure the date and head off to the most glamorous restaurant ever. However, you’re a disembodied hand with a slight knack for catastrophe.
Even the most simplest of tasks become very difficult and you end up causing such a mess! Though if your date is having fun, what’s the problem eh?
The physics is what makes this game, the most simplest of tasks such as pouring some wine become very difficult, but again in a good way. It makes things a challenge and you’ve got to make sure your date is happy first and foremost!
There’s loads of different levels too, such as restaurantes, ice bars and sushi bars. The physics and gameplay mechanics will change too depending on what level you are on. So make sure you impress your date in each one! Get a better reputation and unlock more and more potential dates. However, as you do so the challenges and dating scenarios, the difficulty will increase! You can even customise your hand, with tattoos and accessories, nothing else though, because you’re a hand. Just a hand.
As the physics are a lot of fun, expect there to be a domino effect type problems along the way, things will get from bad to worse very quick and it’s up to you to fix it to improve that first impression!
However, as with the physics are already difficult, we’ve heard there’s a zero-gravity level!
We had lots of fun playing this game and we’re sure you’re going to love it too, not too sure if your date will be impressed though….
(Steam)
Purchase Table Manners here!
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Facebook rudely translating Chinese President’s name?!
Facebook has apologised for translating the Chinese President’s (She Jinping’s) name as “Mr Shithole”. During his visit to Mi-yan-mar this week. The company said the incident was due to a “technical issue” that caused incorrect translations from Burmese to English on Facebook.
Facebook and their Awkward Situation
The technical error produced a rather embarrassing and awkward situation for all the parties involved. As part of his visit to the Mi-yan-mar, President “SHE” met with a State Counsellor Ang san suu chi to sign various infrastructure agreements backed by China. A post about the visit was published to suu chi’s official Facebook page, which meant that it was loaded with references to “Mr Shithole” when translated to English.
Additionally, according to Reuters, a headline from the local news site The Irrawaddy was translated as, “Dinner honors president shithole.”
Facebook said it had fixed the technical issue. Reuters reported that Google’s translation system did not produce the same error.
“This should not have happened and we are taking steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again,” Facebook said in a statement to Reuters. “We sincerely apologise for the offence this has caused.”
Facebook explained that the error occurred because its system did not have President SHE’s name in its Burmese database. So it guessed the translation. After running translation tests, the company found that its system also translated similar words. Which start with “SHE” and “shi” in Burmese to “shithole” in English.
Kenneth Wong, a Burmese language instructor at the University of California, Berkeley, told The New York Times that he could understand why a machine would have made that translation error. Wong said that President SHE’s name sounds similar to “chi kyin phyin,”. Which roughly translates to “faeces hole buttocks” in Burmese.
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The Testicuzzi!
This little device is designed for a gentleman’s intimate area. The balls to be specific. As the name would imply, it’s a jacuzzi for your nuts. It’s called the Testicuzzi. A Hot Tub for your nuts is the way the guys from Testicuzzi call it.
It comes in a two different of colours too! Black or White. Also, you can even get a gift set which comes complete with bath bombs and essential oils: Cedar Wood for your wood. (Furthermore, there’s a 24 Karat gold version one too worth $10K if you so fancy)
While, it may look like a gag gift, but you can actually use this one!
What is the Testicuzzi exactly?
This is how they describe it on their site:
Testicuzzi is a personal hot tub for your testicles. Testicle health is very important. Making sure your testicles are happy is even more important. The Testicuzzi ( testicle hot tub) is a great way to show your testicles that they are loved. Measuring 3.5 inches wide, 3.5 inches tall and 5 inches from front to back, the Testicuzzi is ergonomically designed for the greatest testicle comfort. This hot tub for your testicles is battery powered and produces and wonderful, gently bubbling massage. Water is added by the user of the Testicuzzi and is pre-heated by the user to the desired temperature. Some like it hot. Some like it cold. It’s really a matter of what testicle hot tub experience you are in the mood for.
So, how do you use it?
Using the Testicuzzi is quite simple. Once you have received your Testicuzzi simply heat some water to the desired temperature for your testicle bath, and fill the Testicuzzi to the desired level. Flip the switch and get those bubble going. Dip your testicles into the bath and let them soak up the pleasure for however long you desire. Also, The soothing bubbles from your new testicle hot tub will have you relaxing in just moments. There is nothing like the soothing releif you feel from a nice soak of the family jewels. It is unlike anything else you’ve experienced. Some have called the feeling of the Testicuzzi as “Magical!”, “Out of this world!”, “Refreshing!”……
Consequently, we know you want to, so purchase one by clicking here!
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Condom delivery service!
Ever get into the heat of things and you reach over for a condom and you have none. Nada. Zilch. Well Durex were teasing Brits with a condom delivery service. Helping us Brits to get laid 24/7. Therefore means you won’t be having to need to head to the shop too.
Way back in 2013 Durex ran a marketing campaign called “SOS Condom” it showed a GPS locator app which located you and delivered you a rubber.
It showed a whole host of people. Such as police officers to pizza delivery guys (of course) rushing to help in your time of need.
It’s a real thing elsewhere!
It was a stunt but it may actually become a thing in China and parts of Latin America. Lovers in Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, Peru and Mexico can get rubbers delivered in 3o minutes.
While in Shanghai, Alibaba, a HUGE retail company are delivering condoms between 10pm and 7am. Huffington Post are reporting that the peak ordering time is midnight and the average user is 40)
While there’s not even a whisper of it being launched here in the UK. Declining condom sales were cited as a motivator to bring it to our shores! Reckitt Benckiser, which owns Durex, said that increasing competition in Asia and Latin America. By local condom brands diminished their share of the market and caused the roll out of a delivery service.
It would most likely be a success if it were. Deliveroo, were on course to hit 6M UK customers at the end of last year. So maybe it would work? Would it be awkward though? Maybe they should make the box small enough to fit in the letterbox. No need to answer the door half naked or make awkward eye contact with the delivery driver. After all, they’ll most likely know what you’re about to do. Brings a whole new meaning to “Ding Dong”
While 30mins is a long wait for delivery, it may delay things and the moment may go. What if the delivery driver gets lost and needs to call you? What if they get stuck in traffic? Guess some planning will be needed to be done to get them delivered just in time. but if you’re doing all that, why not just prepare normally and get some rubbers just in case. Always have condoms on you people!
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JoJo Rabbit
This movie looks hilarious! It’s called Jojo Rabbit and is all about a German Boy has an idiotic friend. That friend turns out to be Adolf Hitler. Jojo Rabbit is described as an American black comedy drama film. Judging from the trailer, it certainly is dark! On the wider sense of things, dark comedies usually tend to make fun of something that is taboo and difficult discuss. But as a result making it easier to discuss. While we’ve only seen a trailer to Jojo Rabbit. It certainly seems like it’s going down that route!
Writer director Taika Waititi (THOR: RAGNAROK, HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE), brings his signature style of humor and pathos to his latest film, JOJO RABBIT, a World War II satire that follows a lonely German boy (Roman Griffin Davis as JoJo) whose world view is turned upside down when he discovers his single mother (Scarlett Johansson) is hiding a young Jewish girl (Thomasin McKenzie) in their attic. Aided only by his idiotic imaginary friend, Adolf Hitler (Taika Waititi). Jojo must confront his blind nationalism. (FOX Searchlight)
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Chest Faces – Funny but Weird
Thanks to our friends over at The Poke, we’ve found an interesting Twitter account. It’s called “Chest Faces” @chestfaces and they photoshop pictures of celebrities chests and replaces it with their face.
See below what the results are like!
Bill Murray pic.twitter.com/9anVZEGQIP
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 30, 2019
DJ Khaled pic.twitter.com/APuX7kPYEa
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 29, 2019
Cristiano Ronaldo pic.twitter.com/GQnCL1BFIf
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 19, 2019
Sacha Baron Cohen pic.twitter.com/GKWcLkiqCb
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 28, 2019
Chris Brown pic.twitter.com/ISMUo1fSm3
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 27, 2019
Barack Obama pic.twitter.com/LObTBotlTE
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 27, 2019
Justin Bieber pic.twitter.com/SMG26ZIYO0
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 23, 2019
Wayne Rooney pic.twitter.com/jQ4X0iDnk9
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 21, 2019
Leonardo DiCaprio pic.twitter.com/CcVrSh2E95
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 20, 2019
Vladimir Putin pic.twitter.com/Su89AQmoj3
— chestfaces (@chestfaces) July 19, 2019
What do you think of Chest Faces? Let us know via our socials! @howtokillanhour across ALL socials! Give us a follow!
Some of them on the account are hilarious, some of them are scary and there’s an odd couple which are quite disrespectful. But on the whole, it’s quite a harmless account. Definitely had us laughing for a good 10 minutes! How can something so simple be so funny, yet no one had thought of it yet?!
Who would you replace their chest with their face if you could? Would you replace your own chest with your face? How about faces on chests?!
(The Poke)
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Rate My Plate
With over 2.1M fans on Facebook the ‘Rate My Plate’ Facebook Page is no small time gig. The comical Facebook page has been set up arguably over the huge popularity that people’s dinner plates get on Instagram and Facebook.
Now, you would be forgiven for thinking that most of the posts on this page are going to be good right? Who would put a bad plate of food on there just to be rated badly?
Well, you’d be wrong. The posts are either pictures of people’s regular every day dinner plates or just some terrible looking dinners. As a result, there’s some pretty ghastly plates on this page, so keep a sick bucket nearby! (We’re being harsh. There are some good looking dinner plates on there, but they’re few and far between!)
Check out some of the plates below:
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Green Man Gaming (EXPLICIT WARNING)
We recently discovered this amazing smaller YouTuber called Green Man Gaming and they’re amazing! We think that they deserve a lot more eyes on them! So have decided to showcase them here on How To Kill An Hour.
They do a whole host of different types of videos, like the comedy style above, to a historic look through at games. For example, they looked at Ace Combat through the years, giving a good insight as to how the game has developed over the years. As well as longer play through’s they also do miniature (sub 10minute) play through of games, their most recent one was of Rage 2. Furthermore they also do a pretty cool Throwback Thursday features where by they look at past games, in this one they look at Super Mario 64. However, we cannot go by and not mention the really cool video they did before Christmas. It was called Video Games Rock. It’s a mash up video of video game’s dancing to Jingle Bell Rock. It’s worth a watch. Even if it is February!
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