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Swisse Me’s Advert TOO RUDE for Tv!

Too Rude For TV!

No YOU have a dirty mind! – new advert from Swisse MeMore here: http://www.howtokillanhour.com/entertainment/swisse-mes-advert-too-rude-for-tv

Posted by How To Kill an Hour on Wednesday, 13 May 2020

A new advert for some healthy fruit smoothies has been deemed too rude for TV. Swisse Me, the food’s makers, has dubbed the advert ‘health food porn’ is 30 seconds long. It’s got censors all hot under the collar. As they’re calling for it to be screened after dark!

A new commercial for healthy fruit smoothies has been called too rude for TV.

A breakdown…

The advert has a whistling soundtrack and has a medley of fruit which is seductively handled. It ends with a jet of fruit smoothie erupting from a pouch. Mind out of the gutter you!

The start of the advert shows a pert pair of avocados, which is then followed by an upright length of banana being stroked by single female finger. Next we see mens fingers plunge into a juicy orange!

Furthermore an apricot is then prised open, a man cups a pair of hairy kiwi fruits and running his finger across a bulbous avocado stone.

As a banana rises into view, dripping in honey, smoothie juice drips from the centre of a strawberry.

ooooof is it getting hot in here is it just us.

Finally a lemon and avocado is squeezed with vigour, a banana is broken in half. While a geyser of smoothie flies over raspberries and blueberries which lay on a bed of spinach leaves.

Therefore, ad censors have called for the commercial to be screened after 9pm watershed. Despite it showing a single sweaty body. Clearcast the TV advertising governing body, stated that the “sexual innuendo, involving genitalia, breasts and porn” is likely to push the advert to be pushed well after the 9pm watershed.

So, after reviewing the advert, the watchdog confirmed the advert will only be shown during late-night telly.

The 30-second commercial was made by health food brand Swisse Me to promote the ingredients in their range of ready-to-drink smoothies.

What Swisse Me say…

“There’s nothing more natural than getting a mouthful of fruit, which is exactly what our smoothies are packed with. All the goodness, with none of the filth. We can deliver them straight to your letterbox too, in case you want to be discreet.”

“We know how tricky it is to get in daily vitamins and minerals, so we’ve made it super easy with handy smoothies in 12 deliciously naughty flavours.”

Nykkea Maretic from Swisse Me

“This isn’t just any food porn commercial, it is a health food porn commercial.” Rowan Adams Advert Director

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Emojis

Emojis to get you laid…..

Emojis may be the key to getting responses from your text messages. That may be the difference between weak game and game that is on point. Ladies and gentlemen, listen up! Clover, a dating app, has looked into the texting habits of it’s 3 million users to see which emojis got the most responses. Including the ones that had you left on read.

Emojis: What to use

Check out the infographic below to see which emojis both men and women love to respond to, which emojis they love to send and what ones don’t really do it for them. Perhaps unsurprisingly men don’t like to receive the diamond ring emoji. For the ladies if you want to have a man respond to you, use classic flirty emojis. Such as a winky face or little pink hearts. Could even use the red lips one and the guy your talking to will most likely respond.

For the guys, don’t use the eggplant emoji! Nor the flexed arm or the fist bump. Try using the sassy girl emoji, a tongue out emoji seems to do rather well too!

The survey found that in general emoji use resulted in people being more likely to respond to you. With men being 8% more likely to respond if there is an emoji in the opener and women are 5% more likely to respond if an emoji is used in an opener.

So now in lockdown, the best way to get a date after all this is over, is to throw in an emoji in an opener!

 

(Elite Daily)

 

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OAP’s need lovin’ too!

Valentien’s Day 2020 has been and gone, but did you ever think about intimacy for the older generation of Britain? The over 60’s. According to a recent study, the over 60’s, the OAP’s, due to health problems are often left frustrated.

There’s a list of problems that prevent some OAP’s making love. Such as Trouble with joints (17%), being too tired (22%) and erectile dysfunction (22%). This according to a survey of 2,000 over-55s conducted for health supplement company FutureYou Cambridge.

3/4 if those surveyed said that their love lives can also be affected by age related issues. Such as creaky knees and arthritis. While 2/3 of people heading towards retirement say that they’re still sexually active now and then but aren’t able to get jiggy with it as much as they want to.

While the study of over 1,000 people over 55 with arthritis, also found that 1/4 of Britains 10M arthritis sufferers said they too have less sex than they used to.

Furthermore over half (57%) of OAP’s say they exercise less, 54% say that it affects their sleep and over a quarter (28%) socialise less. Nearly half (46%) say that it has a negative impact on relationships and 26% are having less sex.

Taking action

Sex therapist Kate Taylor says:

“Intimacy is really important. Regular sex gives your physical health a giant boost. Regular lovemaking lowers stress, strengthens your immune system, builds muscle strength, and has even been shown to improve memory!”

The survey discovered that 20% were seeking medication.

According to the research by FutureYoU Cambridge, 12% avoid taking medication. Such as painkillers as they’re afraid of the side effects and addiction. Furthermore nearly half say they look to avoid taking over the counter pain relief. 27% of those surveyed say they have not found medication that works for them.

47% of OAP’s are open to trying other remedies such as food based or herbal based remedies. While 23% have considered using tumeric. Despite significant research demonstrating evidence of its anti-inflammatory properties.

What is tumeric?

Turmeric is a plant that has been used for centuries in cooking and traditional medicine. It’s known to contain a powerful active ingredient, of curcumin. Which has many anti-inflammatory properties. 

Inflammation is one of the symptoms of arthritis. FutureYou Cambridge have patented and created a supplement. It’s called Tumeric+. Tumeric+ is 30x more absorbable than standard tumeric. Due to the curcumin being combined with soy lecithin and also incorporates other micronutrients ingredients.

Pain expert Dr Nicholas Shenker, consultant rheumatologist at Addenbrooke’s Hospital, said:

“Curcumin is poorly absorbed in the gut. FutureYou Turmeric+ combines curcumin with lecithin to prevent it being destroyed in the stomach. This allows it to be absorbed and distributed around the body and could help those suffering with arthritis.’

For more information on the health benefits of turmeric, click here!

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CockCam – Go Pro for your D

The CockCam is “the world’s first cock ring with a camera” created by UK-based sex toy company Julz. It’s basically a GoPro style camera strapped to a cock ring. It is described as a “a revolutionary sex toy that allows you to record all of your erotic moments at never seen before angles, store and view videos on your mobile device through the Secure Mobile App, taking your sexy home videos to the next level,”

It costs $159.95 and can even record in infared night vision, HD video up to 90mins at 1080p and 15 frames per second.

The CockCam promises that both the device and it’s accompanying app are secure. The website states that all the footage is stored on your mobile device and not on the app. The app is used to operate the camera and view the footage only.

Only question is, is this thing safe to use?

Therefore we had to find out! While we didn’t use one ourselves, the CockCam FAQ page does note that the camera can get warm during periods of prolonged use. (Will many guys even get that far? Boom Boom)

(Vice)

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Condom delivery service!

Ever get into the heat of things and you reach over for a condom and you have none. Nada. Zilch. Well Durex were teasing Brits with a condom delivery service. Helping us Brits to get laid 24/7. Therefore means you won’t be having to need to head to the shop too.

Way back in 2013 Durex ran a marketing campaign called “SOS Condom” it showed a GPS locator app which located you and delivered you a rubber.

It showed a whole host of people. Such as police officers to pizza delivery guys (of course) rushing to help in your time of need.

It’s a real thing elsewhere!

It was a stunt but it may actually become a thing in China and parts of Latin America.  Lovers in Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, Peru and Mexico can get rubbers delivered in 3o minutes.

While in Shanghai, Alibaba, a HUGE retail company are delivering condoms between 10pm and 7am. Huffington Post are reporting that the peak ordering time is midnight and the average user is 40)

While there’s not even a whisper of it being launched here in the UK. Declining condom sales were cited as a motivator to bring it to our shores! Reckitt Benckiser, which owns Durex, said that increasing competition in Asia and Latin America. By local condom brands diminished their share of the market and caused the roll out of a delivery service.

It would most likely be a success if it were. Deliveroo, were on course to hit 6M UK customers at the end of last year. So maybe it would work? Would it be awkward though? Maybe they should make the box small enough to fit in the letterbox. No need to answer the door half naked or make awkward eye contact with the delivery driver. After all, they’ll most likely know what you’re about to do. Brings a whole new meaning to “Ding Dong”

While 30mins is a long wait for delivery, it may delay things and the moment may go. What if the delivery driver gets lost and needs to call you? What if they get stuck in traffic? Guess some planning will be needed to be done to get them delivered just in time. but if you’re doing all that, why not just prepare normally and get some rubbers just in case. Always have condoms on you people!

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Self Lubricating Condom?!

A Self Lubricating Condom. They’re a thing now. They’ve come a long way since using livestock intestines. Condoms can come ribbed for the lady in your life. They can even glow in the dark. Also, they can come with self-warming abilities. But now they can also self lubricate!

The Bill and Melinda Gate’s Foundation’s ran a competition to build a better condom. Well boy did they. A research team have created a condom which gets slippery when wet. A specially-designed layer of hydrophilic polymers coats the condom’s surface. Which when activated with moisture becomes slick. (How many of you cringed at the word ‘moist’ there?

Some condoms already have lubricant applied to it but it wears off during sex. This special condom never runs out! (Well it has a 1,000 thrust limit, while the study says typical intercourse is anywhere between 100-500 thrusts) Say that’s a thrust per second, that’s 16minutes plus of straight thrusting before the lubricant where’s off. Jeez! The researchers were awarded a cool $100,000 grant for their research.

The study, published in the Royal Society Open journal, outlines how they created this special rubber. It assessed “frictional performance” against a variety of different lubricated and non lubricared condoms. Using a machine not humans you dirty lot you!

Though they did use touch tests with human participants to determine how they perceived slipperiness. (You would think during sex, not just how slippery the rubber is)

73% of the 33 who participated, said they preferred the new condom design. They also said they’d be more likely to use a condom if it was inherently slippery. While those who never used condoms stated they’d consider using one if this special self lubricating condom existed.

(VICE)

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Don’t Use Condoms Twice.

So apparently, some crazy people out there are doing something that we never thought we’d see. They are reusing and washing condoms, just look at this tweet from CDC STD!

In case people were wondering, do not re-use a condom. Nor should you wash it to use it again. Condoms are strictly a one use item. One and done. Kaput. Plus a new one should be use for every sex act!

There was a study published in 2012 it was called “Condom Use Errors and Problems: A Global View,”  and get this. Are you sitting down?

In between 1.4% and 3.3% of those surveyed admitted to reusing the same condom during intercourse, Forbes pointed out.

If you weren’t aware, washing and reusing condoms will definitely reduce their effectiveness. The oils in soaps will degrade the latex, thus causing it to fail. It may even irritate the skin.

Condoms (when correctly used) will prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of STDS.

So don’t go reusing them!

(Insider)

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Episode 197 Lucy Hedges Part 1

PornHub Helps!

Pornhub is now helping to make sex safer!

They’ve launched a site called PornHub Sexual Health Center is an online forum to help people with questions about anything from sexuality to sexual health and relationships!

The information on the site is sourced by experts which is directed by a clinical psychologist and sex Therapist Dr Laurie Betito. She explained that:

‘One thing I have realised is that no matter our background or desires, sexual education – mental, physical, emotional and spiritual – plays a vital role in our society….It has always been a dream to connect with, educate and inform people all over the world on a massive scale…….Heading the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center is an opportunity to reach a global audience and provide a source for healthy sexual education and dialogue. I’m very excited for the amazing work I have partnered to accomplish.”

To listen to the guys chatting about this please click here!

Ultra Realistic Sex Robots?!

As tech evolves, ways for us to get off evolve too and that is exactly what is happening with sex robots. Now they’re so erm…good that they can potentially, apparently fall in love with you.

Launching in April this year, Matt McMullen, the boss of Cyborg brand Realbotix will release a fleet of sex dolls that will apparently be ‘mind blowing’ in bed….

 

Matt said:

Emotional connections are the foundations of relationships and that’s what we are simulating.

And it’s emotions which add the X Factor to sex. I think two people can meet in a bar, have sex the same night and not remember each other’s names and say well that was fun.

But that’s different sex than when you actually get to know someone and you bond with them intellectually and emotionally.

You long for each other and maybe you wait for sex. It is the deeper connection we all crave……

The A.I. is prone to falling in love with you. But it will depend very much on the selections you’ve made.

The traits will have a lot to do with how it will play out. She will say things you are not expecting.

It’s really exciting to see where it will take us next.

 

The robots are said to have unpredictable yet charming tendencies that have great memories but also have a rather scary ‘surprise factor’ built in. On top of all that you can set your new sex robot lady friend to have 1 of 12 different personality traits be that sexual, kind, naive or intellectual. Strangely you can even set the strength of your sex toy on a scale of 1 to 3.

You can even set up an account an access an app which after a few months after purchase will sync with ‘her’ (I guess) and the ‘PULSE’ programme begins, promising to give a mind-blowing encounter and according to the Daily Star a yearly subscription to this app will be available from $20.

If you were wondering. The price of one of these dolls is said to be $6K.

To listen to the guys chatting about this please click here!