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Penis Grown On Arm After Sepsis Infection

We’ve covered a similar article in Episode 33– “Mohammad I’m Bad” which described someone with a bionic penis. However, this is about a man who GREW a penis on his arm. After he lost it to a horrific blood infection.

The father of two, Malcolm MacDonald, was even given an extra 2 inches to his baby maker. Though due to a series of delays he had to live with it, attached to his arm, for 4 years. Oof.

Malcolm is a mechanic and is desperate for the NHS Funded $50K penis to be transferred to where it should be. Malcolm has even nicknamed his baby maker “Jimmy”. Though he can still see the funny side of it. As you have to admit to have a willy dangling from your arm is kinda funny.

He is in awe of the medics who helped him turn his life around after he lost his confidence:

 “Of course it is mad – having a penis on your arm. That they can make me a new penis at all is incredible – but that they can build it on my arm is mind-blowing.

“It looks like something out of a weird sci-fi comic. But it’s my chance at a normal life. It’s been the first step towards being able to go to the toilet and even being intimate with someone.”

Lost Penis

Malcolm was shocked when a long term perineum infection developed into sepsis. Which turned his toes, fingers and penis black. His penis fell off in 2014, while his testicles remained in tact. Which left him devastated, describing the moment he said:

“I knew deep down it was gone and I was going to lose it. Then one day it just dropped off on to the floor. I just picked it up and put it in the bin.

“I went to the hospital and they said the best they could do for me was to roll the remaining stump up like a little sausage roll. It was heartbreaking.”

Some Good Penis News

Father of two Malcolm said that his life fell apart due to a lack of confidence. Until his GP told him about a ‘Penis Master’, Professor David Ralph. Who is an expert in phallus construction at London’s University College Hospital. He was given a referral and recalled: “It gave me a glimmer of hope that I could go back to being a normal bloke.”

Professor Ralph explained the arm graft procedure to him and that it would take up to two years. Malcolm:

“As far as I was concerned, they were miracle workers and I was up for anything that could give me my willy back.

“For me I was never worried about sex, because I already had two children. It was always more about my self-confidence and simple things like using the loo.”

Malcolm had a skin flap taken from his left arm and had it rolled to form a penis, complete with it’s own blood vessels and nerves. While surgeons created a urethra and installed two tubes which can be inflated to form a mechanical erection.

The shaft was detached from his forearm, but the base remained. As you would expect, the penis would dangle on his arm. As it could then form naturally as skin and tissue. Malcolm said that when he saw it on his arm for the first time he was very proud! Even nicknaming it Jimmy!

“I took to it so much I nicknamed it ‘Jimmy’ – that was what me and my mates called each other growing up and this penis was definitely my new mate.”

Penis Delays

Explaining the delay, a UCHL spokeswoman said:

“We understand this is a distressing situation for Mr MacDonald. We will try to rearrange his surgery as soon we are able now that services are gradually returning closer to normal following lockdown.

“Unfortunately, there were delays before lockdown because Mr MacDonald missed or cancelled some appointments. We offered him four dates for surgery, one of which we had to postpone by a week but the other occasions he cancelled or did not attend.

“Mr MacDonald told us he had some issues with patient transport. This transport, however, was not oranised by UCLH. We understand this must have been frustrating for him.”

(LadBible)

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Thomy Rot Weiß

Thomy Rot-Weiß toothpaste Ketchup & Mayo!

Ketchup & Mayo in a toothpaste style sauce. Sounds odd but quite interesting doesn’t it? That’s what Thomy Rot-Weiß have created.

Condiments usually work better on their own and rarely work when mixed. Things such as BBQ Sauce, Ketchup, Mayo, Mustard, Teriyaki, they all work when on their own. Though have you ever thought about mixing them? No? Never? Me neither.

Well, regardless of what you thought of your favourite condiment on chips or a burger. Think again. As, it turns out you can actually get a combo of ketchup and mayo in a single package. Yes a single package. Not two different sauces in a box, two different sauces in the same container. Thanks to Thomy Rot-Weiß!

Ketchup and Mayo have been combined in a toothpaste style mix. It even looks like toothpaste once it is on your plate. The sauce looks like a liquidy candy cane as it oozes out of the tube.

For the American fans you can pick up some of it on Amazon for $10.

Just done brush your teeth with the stuff.

Purchase some Thomy Rot-Weiß Ketchup and Mayo here!

(TechnaBob)

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Chest Faces – Funny but Weird

Thanks to our friends over at The Poke, we’ve found an interesting Twitter account. It’s called “Chest Faces” @chestfaces  and they photoshop pictures of celebrities chests and replaces it with their face.

See below what the results are like!

 

 

 

What do you think of Chest Faces? Let us know via our socials! @howtokillanhour across ALL socials! Give us a follow!

Some of them on the account are hilarious, some of them are scary and there’s an odd couple which are quite disrespectful. But on the whole, it’s quite a harmless account. Definitely had us laughing for a good 10 minutes! How can something so simple be so funny, yet no one had thought of it yet?!

Who would you replace their chest with their face if you could? Would you replace your own chest with your face? How about faces on chests?!

(The Poke)

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Wash Clothes Like UBER?!

Electrolux, the BIG washing machine company are testing a crazy new way of getting your clothes washed — by someone else.

CEO Jonas Samuelson has told the Financial Times that they are testing an Uber like service where you would pay to get your clothes washed at someone’s house. While you would need to change up your washing machine for it to have wi-fi and it to be connected to the app itself, it would help save money in the long term from washing equipment (Washer/Dryer) that for most of the week is idle.

While this sounds quite weird (people stealing your underwear!) there are other hurdles that need to be addressed too. For example, what if your clothes shrink or clothes colour runs? Who pays for that? There is also the potential for people to buy houses and turn them into laundromats? or If someone forgets to wash your clothes? Gives you somebody else’s clothes?

Jonas Samuelson doesn’t say when this will go live to the public if at all. But if this goes ahead it will be interesting to see what problems they face from it being used day in day out.

Listen to the guys chatting about this here!