Swisse Me’s Advert TOO RUDE for Tv!

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Too Rude For TV!

No YOU have a dirty mind! – new advert from Swisse MeMore here: http://www.howtokillanhour.com/entertainment/swisse-mes-advert-too-rude-for-tv

Posted by How To Kill an Hour on Wednesday, 13 May 2020

A new advert for some healthy fruit smoothies has been deemed too rude for TV. Swisse Me, the food’s makers, has dubbed the advert ‘health food porn’ is 30 seconds long. It’s got censors all hot under the collar. As they’re calling for it to be screened after dark!

A new commercial for healthy fruit smoothies has been called too rude for TV.

A breakdown…

The advert has a whistling soundtrack and has a medley of fruit which is seductively handled. It ends with a jet of fruit smoothie erupting from a pouch. Mind out of the gutter you!

The start of the advert shows a pert pair of avocados, which is then followed by an upright length of banana being stroked by single female finger. Next we see mens fingers plunge into a juicy orange!

Furthermore an apricot is then prised open, a man cups a pair of hairy kiwi fruits and running his finger across a bulbous avocado stone.

As a banana rises into view, dripping in honey, smoothie juice drips from the centre of a strawberry.

ooooof is it getting hot in here is it just us.

Finally a lemon and avocado is squeezed with vigour, a banana is broken in half. While a geyser of smoothie flies over raspberries and blueberries which lay on a bed of spinach leaves.

Therefore, ad censors have called for the commercial to be screened after 9pm watershed. Despite it showing a single sweaty body. Clearcast the TV advertising governing body, stated that the “sexual innuendo, involving genitalia, breasts and porn” is likely to push the advert to be pushed well after the 9pm watershed.

So, after reviewing the advert, the watchdog confirmed the advert will only be shown during late-night telly.

The 30-second commercial was made by health food brand Swisse Me to promote the ingredients in their range of ready-to-drink smoothies.

What Swisse Me say…

“There’s nothing more natural than getting a mouthful of fruit, which is exactly what our smoothies are packed with. All the goodness, with none of the filth. We can deliver them straight to your letterbox too, in case you want to be discreet.”

“We know how tricky it is to get in daily vitamins and minerals, so we’ve made it super easy with handy smoothies in 12 deliciously naughty flavours.”

Nykkea Maretic from Swisse Me

“This isn’t just any food porn commercial, it is a health food porn commercial.” Rowan Adams Advert Director

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Coronavirus Conversation

Coronavirus Conversation

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We’re in lockdown, not just in UK, but all over the world. Old conversation habits die hard, such as ‘what did you get up to last night’. There’s not many different things you can do whilst in lockdown. So our friends over at Stylist have devised a new way of spicing up our answers to questions. Here’s some Coronavirus conversation to help spice things up!

Stylist have come up with some really funny ways to respond when someone asks what you got up to last night. They make you sound like you did really exciting things. When in reality they’re quite mundane:

 

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I HAD A CHEEKY WINE IN THE GARDEN”

Say: “I partook in an al fresco wine tasting. It was glorious. I particularly enjoyed the bergamot top notes in the chardonnay.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WATCHED TIGER KING ON NETFLIX”

Say: “I watched an innovative and divisive documentary exploring the complex relationship between man and beast. It threw up some interesting philosophical dilemmas, actually.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WENT FOR A WALK”

Say: “I indulged in my evening constitutional.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I CHATTED TO SOME FRIENDS ON ZOOM”

Say: “Some close acquaintances and I met face-to-face using a cloud-based video conferencing service, whereupon we discussed all manner of things.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I FINISHED MY BOOK”

Take a leaf out of Jane Austen’s book and say: “I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book!”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I SCROLLED AIMLESSLY THROUGH INSTAGRAM”

Say: “I visited the world’s largest image gallery and perused the many exhibits on display, in order to gather inspiration for the interior design of my future home, outfits I will wear once I can go outside again, and cakes I will bake once I can actually buy flour and eggs.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I ATE ALL MY QUARANTINE SNACKS IN ONE SITTING”

Say: “I struggled in vain to curb my innermost desires, but alas! I am only human, and some temptations cannot be resisted.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I PLAYED VIDEO GAMES FOR A BIT”

Say: “I used an innovative software system to test my mental and physical reflexes, not to mention my decision-making.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET”

Say: “I embarked on an intrepid mission outdoors, in a bid to replenish our supplies and see us through this infernal quarantine.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “ I MADE A SPOT OF DINNER”

Say: “Cooking is an expression that crosses boundaries, and last night saw me transcend all boundaries as I whipped up a culinary storm in my kitchen.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I TRIED TO DO A JOE WICKS WORKOUT”

Say: “I did my best to exert myself with the help of an old friend. One always feels better when the blood starts pumping, doesn’t one?”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I HAD A SHOWER”

Say: “I shed my clothes, until I was as naked as the day I was born, and stepped under a stream of gushing water. It cleansed me, body and soul, and left me feeling utterly invigorated.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I DID A LOT OF UNNECESSARY ONLINE SHOPPING”

Make like Barbra Streisand in Hello Dolly and say: “Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow.  And so I sacrificed my disposable income in a bid to give the economy a boost.”

  • INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA”

Say: “I hunkered down for the night far from my creature comforts, with nary a duvet or pillow in sight.”

(Stylist)

 

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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker comes to Disney+

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Disney Plus have got lots lined up for this weekend, otherwise known as the Star Wars weekend! Disney+ is the streaming home of Star Wars, the have got exclusive originals. Such as The Mandalorian, Clone Wars and Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian. Now for the first time, the complete saga will be available in one place! As Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker comes to Disney Plus!

Lots of Star Wars Content

  • From Friday 1st May fans can watch the finale episode of The Mandalorian and explore Disney+’s in-app offering that will honour the artistry of Star Wars with a week-long concept art takeover on the service
  • Over the weekend fans can re-watch all of the Skywalker Saga ahead of the arrival of the final chapter and binge a full series of The Mandalorian.
  • Come “May the 4th” Disney+ will host an extensive collection of Star Wars movies and series. With the arrival of the global premiere of Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian and the finale episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. As well as the final chapter of the Skywalker saga, “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.”

The final chapter of the Star Wars film franchise “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” will begin streaming two months early on Disney Plus in honour of  “May The 4th”. Otherwise known as “Star Wars Day”. This brings for the first time a place where Star Wars fans can stream all Skywalker saga in one place. The franchise that began in 1977 with George Lucas’ groundbreaking film “Star Wars: A New Hope”. The entire nine-part saga is available within the extensive collection of Star Wars movies and series.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

The final film Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker comes from Lucasfilm and director JJ Abrams, the thrilling climactic chapter. Highlighting a heroic struggle to restore peace and freedom the the galaxy. The film stars Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley and John Boyega.

When it’s discovered that the evil Emperor Palpatine did not die at the hands of Darth Vader, the rebels must race against the clock to find out his whereabouts. Finn and Poe lead the Resistance to put a stop to the First Order’s plans to form a new Empire, while Rey anticipates her inevitable confrontation with Kylo Ren. 

The May 4th line-up follows the finale of the first season of “The Mandalorian” on Friday 1st May in the United Kingdom, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Italy, Austria, and Switzerland.

In Honour

Disney Plus will also honour the artistry of Star Wars with a week-long concept art takeover!

Like a commemorative gallery, each film and series’ artwork will be updated on May 4th to feature its original concept paintings. From “Star Wars: A New Hope” to “The Mandalorian,” the updated art will feature work from celebrated artists such as the legendary Ralph McQuarrie and Academy Award-winning artist, author, and production designer, Doug Chiang.

While on the Disney+ home screen, the animated “Star Wars” brand tile, viewable on web and connected TV devices. Gets upgraded with a new animation that honors the signature hyperspace jump.

This new content joins a huge range of shows and movies available for people of all ages – including the latest releases like Avengers Endgame, Lion King, Captain Marvel, Black Panther and Aladdin, available for £5.99 per month, or £59.99 for a year.

In the Netherlands, the movie will launch on Disney+ on May 5 due to the Memorial Day holiday.

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Disney Plus Heads To NOW TV!

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We all love Disney here at How To Kill An Hour and we also love Sky programming, well today they have enhanced their partnership. As the Disney+ app will also launch on the NOW TV platform. Those who have the NOW TV device will have the option to download the Disney Plus app. Giving NOW TV device customers the option to watch a whole host of brand new shows including The Mandalorian, High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, The World According to Jeff Goldblum and more.

“With the arrival of the Disney+ app, customers can now enjoy Disney’s new streaming service alongside NOW TV’s slate of Sky originals, award winning box sets, blockbuster movies and favourite Kids shows. This new addition broadens the range of content available on our NOW TV devices and helps to further simplify the struggle of navigating multiple TV inputs to find what you want to watch.” Marina Storti, Managing Director, NOW TV

So, NOW TV devices customers can now download the app from the app store and simply sign in to their Disney+ account to begin watching.

Disney Plus joins the NOW TV app store alongside a range of other additions. Such as Roku Channel, Netflix, All 4, ITV Hub, YouTube and many more!

What can I watch?

  • With over 500 films, 26 exclusive original movies and series and thousands of television episodes from Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, National Geographic and more, Disney+ is the streaming home for some of the world’s most beloved stories
  • Also, Disney+ Originals include: The Mandalorian – the finale is fast approaching, High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, and Elephant
  • Some highlights: Cool Runnings, Sister Act, all of the Avengers, X-Men, Mrs Doubtfire, Inside Out, Finding Dory and Toy Story. But as I say, there’s something in the service for all ages – children, adults, families…

Summary of product facts:

  • Seven day free trial
  • £5.99 per month, or £59.99 for 12 months (this makes it £4.99 per month) – flexible contract, you can cancel at any time
  • Stream in SD, HD or Ultra HD
  • People can have seven profiles and can select that to be a kids account and choose profile icons from a vast range
  • You can stream four streams concurrently

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Beyond Blue – Ocean Exploration

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Beyond Blue looks like a fantastic ocean adventure game. It’s set against the near future backdrop of Earth’s oceans. Beyond Blue will offer scientific support of real world exploration and outreach initiative, Ocean X, embracing it’s minimally invasive exploration techniques.

Beyond Blue will tell the story of a crew of scientists, led by oceanographers Mirai and Andre. They are keen to test their Ocean Sense Network. This holds the power to literally shine a light on the unexplored depths of the ocean.

The game will also focus on the Western Pacific ocean amid a large multispecies gathering of cetaceans and other creatures. You will play as Mirai to use the technology to better understand the urgent threats that our oceans face. Beyond Blue will also feature never before seen footage licensed from BBC Studios’ Blue Planet II. Furthermore it will help to expand upon the game’s story, educating players on the social and emotional lives of whales.

Beyond Blue Development Team Says….

“We are extremely excited to share Beyond Blue with everyone,”

“We have taken care to craft a visual and audio experience that immerses players in the beauty of the ocean and the amazing creatures that inhabit it, while hopefully doing so with some interpretation and artistry.”

“Players will explore diverse environments ranging from a sun-dappled, oasis-like atoll down through the gauzy blue ‘twilight’ zone where only the faintest amount of light reaches to the midnight of the abyssal zone, where rarely seen creatures produce their own light in an environment otherwise devoid of light.” Michael Angst, CEO, E-Line Media, Creative Director for Beyond Blue.

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A Star Wars Zoom Meeting

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Zoom is a big deal right now. Everyone working from home and using video calls to communicate with colleagues. Well now you can transmission in from the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon. A Star Wars Zoom Meeting if you will. Making you appear as if you are taking the video call from a galaxy far far away.

Star Wars Zoom Meeting from The Empire Strikes Back’s Hoth, the ruins of the Death Star, and many, many more. We even encourage you to dress up as a Star Wars character to make your Star Wars Zoom Meeting that much more authentic. We aren’t responsible if you get disciplined though.

You can easily download any and all backgrounds below. Here’s how:

Step 1: Click on any image to open it at full resolution.

Step 2: Save to your computer or mobile device. (You can either right-click or use your browser’s download icon.)

Check out a selection of them below, however these are LOW RES, you need the HIGH RES versions of the pictures which you can find on Star Wars’ official website here.

(StarWars)

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Mobile Gaming Hits $9.7 Million Daily Revenue

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Mobile gaming is continuing to grow in popularity. Mobile games are too generating impressive amounts of profit for game developers. GoldenCasinoNews have found the five leading iOS gaming apps in the US hit a whopping $9.7M in daily revenue as of April 2020. Thats $2.7M of daily profit. While Roblox represents the top grossing US app store for April

Mobile Gaming reaches $5 Million in Daily Revenue

2019, Roblox Mobile hit more than $1BN in lifetime revenue. While 67% of that came from the US alone. The kid friendly game reached over 290M downloads. Furthermore Google Play downloads made 75% of that amount, yet, it was Apple users more likely to spend in game. With iPhone and iPad spending account for 76% of the revenue.

Fortnite came in 2nd in the US with a total of $2.3M of daily income for April, revealed by Statista data. Fortnite, owned by Epic Games, became the leading free to play game in 2019, reaching a total of $1.8BN of revenue.

Both Roblox and Fortnite, two leading mobile iOS gaming apps in the US, garnered over $5M of daily revenue for April. This accounts for $1.8M of daily profit. With Candy Crush Saga coming in 3rd for the most profitable mobile game in the US app store.

Coin Master Hit $1.7 Million 

4th is Coin Master. Statistics show that the popular single player game, which was created by Israeli studio Moon Active. Hit $17M of revenue and over $2M of downloads last month.

PUBG Mobile -2nd Anniversary came in 5th in April. Hitting $1.4M daily profit. Last month the free to play multiplayer game hit 11M downloads and $23M worth of revenue worldwide. With $1.7 million daily, Coin Master ranked fourth on this App Store list. Statistics show the popular single-player mobile game created by Israeli studio Moon Active hit over $17 million in revenue and more than 2 million downloads globally

(GoldenCasinoNews)

 

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Corona Cuts

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(HuffPost)

People are stuck at home for extended periods of time. So as a result people’s trims are getting a little out of hand. As people are lending their hands to cutting their own hair, Corona Cuts, if you will. When people can’t go to the barbers or hairdressers, the barbers/hairdressers will go to them. By that we mean a pair of scissors/razor and the mirror and a lot of trust in your own ability. Or the person you’re living with’s ability to cut hair.

While we would advise to let the hair just grow long and tackle it once this is all over. Some of you out there are taking the brave decision to just have a go yourself.

As a result some of the atrocious attempts have made their way online. Therefore the internet has interneted and a social media account has spawned. The instagram named Corona Cuts has spawned. As you would expect, this social media account highlights people’s attempts. While Corona Cuts also highlights the good, there’s also as you’d expect the bad and well some are terrible.

It’s just hair right? It’ll grow back!

Check the gallery below for some of our favourite attempts!

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Emojis

Emojis to get you laid…..

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Emojis may be the key to getting responses from your text messages. That may be the difference between weak game and game that is on point. Ladies and gentlemen, listen up! Clover, a dating app, has looked into the texting habits of it’s 3 million users to see which emojis got the most responses. Including the ones that had you left on read.

Emojis: What to use

Check out the infographic below to see which emojis both men and women love to respond to, which emojis they love to send and what ones don’t really do it for them. Perhaps unsurprisingly men don’t like to receive the diamond ring emoji. For the ladies if you want to have a man respond to you, use classic flirty emojis. Such as a winky face or little pink hearts. Could even use the red lips one and the guy your talking to will most likely respond.

For the guys, don’t use the eggplant emoji! Nor the flexed arm or the fist bump. Try using the sassy girl emoji, a tongue out emoji seems to do rather well too!

The survey found that in general emoji use resulted in people being more likely to respond to you. With men being 8% more likely to respond if there is an emoji in the opener and women are 5% more likely to respond if an emoji is used in an opener.

So now in lockdown, the best way to get a date after all this is over, is to throw in an emoji in an opener!

 

(Elite Daily)

 

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Artemis Fowl

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Disney+ has arrived in the UK and there’s MORE content on the way! Beginning on Friday 12th June, Disney will bring you some brand new live action content with the film ‘Artemis Fowl’.

Artemis Fowl is based on the best selling book for young adults of the same name by Eoin Colfer. The film adaptation will bring a cinema sized experience for audiences of all ages. Furthermore we are all able to experience it for the first time right from within the comfort of our own homes. Artemis Fowl is directed by legendary director/actor Kenneth Branagh and will bring viewers a fantastical epic adventure. Sprawling across beautiful landscapes and bring spectacular visual effects which will transport viewers to magical brand new worlds that they haven’t been to before.

The fantastical film will star newcomer Ferdia Shaw in the title role. Alongside a star studden cast with Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Josh McGuire, Nikesh Patel and Adrian Scarborough, with Colin Farrell and Judi Dench.

Kenneth Branagh says….

 “Artemis Fowl is a true original. In challenging times, a twelve year old criminal mastermind is one heck of a travelling companion. Smart, funny, and cool as mustard, he’ll take you to new worlds, meet unforgettable characters, and mix magic with mayhem. His own family is everything to him, and (although he’d never admit it), he’d be as proud as I am that families around the world will now be able to enjoy his first amazing screen adventures together, on Disney+.” Kenneth Branagh

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